Just over a week ago, I ran the Greenville News Downton 5k. (I did not write a recap of the race since I smushed it into a 16 miler.) Academy Sports on Woodruff road always holds the packet pick up for this race so I usually wait until the day of the race to pick up my bib. This year, however, Ellis happened to have a job out that direction so he stopped to pick up our bibs as well as a few treats from Trader Joe’s next door. Mom asked if I wanted a new coffee can to replace the one I used for six years to store my coffee grounds. I agreed and then started thinking about what that simple can represented, the difference between the Jeni of 2014, the original expiration date marked on the bottom of the can, and the Jeni of 2020, the date on the bottom of the new container.
Sometimes I step back and wonder how such an ordinary item, a can of metal and cardboard with a slightly torn plastic lid that I should have discarded long ago, can spark thoughts and remembrances. I realized that I had begun, without even being cognizant of the fact, to attach sentimentality to this little can. While at first I used the can to hold my coffee grounds, replacing the original contents with cheaper ones purchased from Costco and then occasionally replacing it when I went back to Trader Joe’s, I gradually stopped going to Trader Joe’s and thus the can I purchased in 2014 remained my coffee can until a little over a week ago. I do not remember when I first noticed the expiration date but as soon as I did, I determined to use this can as long as possible.
The recent replacement offered the opportunity to reflect and thus spend several hundred words on the process. So, in early 2014, where did I find myself?
Early 2014 found me working in the operations department of a local bank. Initially, I started work with this bank in a temporary capacity with the goal of working for a year while undergoing the PhD (in history) application process for the second go around. By early 2014, however, I had long since abandoned that idea and hitched my identity to the banking industry. I made goals of how I would advance at my employer even while I struggled to occupy my time in the afternoon since the majority of my work had to be completed by 3pm yet I had to stay at my post until 6:30pm. I did not feel fulfilled or think that I had found my calling although I “knew” without a doubt that I would never return to teaching.
On the running front, I had just recovered from my first – and only so far – diagnosed running injury, a distal hamstring strain in my right leg. Those months brought countless identity struggles as a runner while God used this minor injury and fitness set back to break my fingers of their death grip which had placed running above God. Later that year, I ran what still stands as my second fastest marathon, a PR at the time, in the Twin Cities Marathon.
Looking back, I barely recognize the me of that time. I had hardly any of the same passions and still looked for what would ultimately drive me. I remember feeling a tad aimless but thankful that I did not have to take my work home with me at the end of each day or spend any extra weekend time, except for the occasional overtime on Saturday morning, on work-related thoughts or activities.
Fast forward six years until today. Everything I just described has changed. I do not feel restless in what I do. I ate the crow of my previous adamance against ever teaching again. God knew better than 2014 Jeni as He always does. I will not again describe my journey back to teaching, the profession I know to be my calling, the place God wants me to serve in. Even though I know little to nothing of how my teaching will change and grow over the years and decades to come, I trust that God will lead me where He wants me to go.
Obviously, I no longer have hours of torturous downtime each day. Instead, I have a never-ending list of things to do, read, write, and accomplish. I feel fulfilled by my job, resting in the assurance that I live and work exactly where God wants me.
On the running front, something I have written extensively about over the years of this blog, I had reached a level of maturity I never thought possible, especially back in 2014 as I recovered from injury. Shortly after I purchased that can of coffee, I reached the fastest point of my career thus far, notching about 6 or 7 PRs (sometimes in the same event) but none since halfway through 2015. I went through low points as I learned how to balance the physical exertion along with the mental and emotional exertion of investing into my students and completing the tasks required of me by my job.
Now I have a new coffee container, its original contents already replaced with the next round. I eagerly look forward to reflecting on the changes in my life when it comes time to replace this can.