I had planned to post the first full day of my Hawaiian excursion travelogue but on Sunday I got an email from the organizers of a local 10k, usually held in the spring but postponed to this upcoming Monday, Labor Day. I skimmed the email before I drove to church and immediately knew that I needed to write about this, not because I have any answers but rather because I need a way to process this, an example of the chaos and depravity all around, and speak truth as loud as I can.

In the email, the organizers mention that they had hoped that the infections would have been trending downward but they aren’t. Instead of taking actions that the rise in infections necessitate, they wash their hands of responsibility while begging those who stubbornly refuse to obey not to get angry at them. They point out that while other races will require proof of vaccination or a negative test, they won’t. They give no reason for this, although if pressed they would likely point to the governor’s foolish ban on vaccination passports even though that applies to government entities not private businesses. They also decline to require masks, going out of their way to point that out before weakly suggesting masks in potentially crowded areas. Even when they say that, they hurriedly follow that up by pointing out the fact that they have smallish wave starts. Heaven forbid that we come close to suggesting that people do something to keep themselves and others safe.

Before concluding the email, the organizers list the two small things they plan to do to fulfill Covid precautions. One, they won’t have a water stop in the 5k and only one in the 10k. Not really that much of a sacrifice in a short races. Two, they won’t hold an award ceremony, something they should do anyway since it tends to last forever and have sparse attendance anyway. They could not leave it there, however. They had to conclude with an apology for the nonexistent, in my opinion, inconveniences in this unusual year.

Why did the authors of this email tread so carefully?

Fear.

I saw an example of this with a couple emails sent by one of the elders at my church. In the first, an update, this elder graciously discussed now the pandemic had affected many in our church and listed a few steps that the church has decided to take to minister to those affected. In the last step, he kindly asked those who read the email to consider getting the vaccine and offering up his time to discuss it with them.

Nowhere did this elder command anyone to do anything. He couched his words in the most gracious of terms, extending kindness to many who have chosen to run roughshod over others in our church who have lost loved ones to the virus and have seen first had its devastating effects.

Yet, several still chose to bypass this elder and go straight to the teaching pastor to complain vehemently about the suggestion that they love their brethren by getting a vaccine. They complained so loudly that they, in effect, forced the elder to send out a second email, apologizing for even coming close to possibly suggesting that these people should consider getting the vaccine and thus love those around them.

After reading that second email, I felt utterly devastated. I talked recently about my struggles with returning to church, returning to worship with many people whose words on social media and public behaviors showed a callous lack of regard in what the Bible, God’s word, tells us to do. This felt like a huge step backwards and at the current moment, I still struggle. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this entry, I have no answers. Instead, I face the ongoing dilemma with trepidation yet assured of what I believe and what I need to do going forward.