Today marks the first day of my fourth year of teaching or year two of my teaching career reboot. I am excited for what this year will bring.

For the first time I feel confident. This time around I know the curriculum and the school. Every positive lesson I documented in my reflection provides incredible benefits for the upcoming year.

Last week I walked back into the building, ready to get things started. I greeted everyone I saw with a cheerful “Good Morning!” I headed to my new room with all of the things I took home back in June. I couldn’t wait to get my book cover posters laminated and up on the walls. I had to make a couple trips to bring everything in but I didn’t mind; I needed the steps.

Normality opened the door about half an hour before we met as a staff in the cafeteria. A fellow teacher walked over to my room with me and shared some information gleaned from the previous day, a day when many chose to come in to start the preparation process. Nothing she shared breached any written or unwritten codes of conduct. The conversation simple reminded me of habits I formed last year.

That cracked open door swung wide open during that afternoon’s department meeting sending cynicism careening through the open doorway. I realized with alarm and a bit of shame that my first reaction to a change in lesson planning or a new requirement was negativity. I, the all-knowing, knew without a doubt that whatever it was would not work and would simply add undue burden to our already overworked workload. (Sarcasm. obviously.)

Each time these thoughts intruded, I caught myself with a sharp, silent, “stop that, Jen!” I prayed for wisdom and strength from God to battle the all-powerful temptation. That night I went home and prayed extensively. This school year would not start out on that foot.

Wednesday dawned, a brand new day. We started with department meetings where my new cohort partner and I dug into planning the first unit of the year with one of those tools I had too easily dismissed the day before. God blessed me with another partner eager and willing to collaborate. Once I set aside the negativity and doubts, I started to get excited.

With Thursday came our back to school event where I met many of the children who will no doubt change my life over the next school year. I greeted a few of our old students, no “big men on campus” eight graders. I nearly finished my classroom preparation when I fired up the hot glue gun and hung forty book cover posters that I DIY-frugal-weirdo produced for the win. After I placed the last poster and stepped back, I felt like the room had gone from simply a room with some desks in it to my classroom. I feel more at home in this room than I have in any of the other three rooms from which I have taught.

I know that things will not always be easy. I know that administration will hand down weighty directives. I know that our test scores are low and with that comes increased pressure. I know that this year I will undergo ADEPT formal evaluation for the second time and with that comes additional workload and pressure.

Most importantly, I know that the almighty, omnipotent God who holds me secure in His hand, will provide all the strength and wisdom I need.