Back in September while in Chicago for Laura’s wedding, an idea began to form in my mind, an idea viewed through rose-colored glasses and lacking any concrete definition. I thought about taking a week of my Winter Break and heading up to Chicago to test it out, give it a whirl in the winter to test my nebulous thought of potentially moving to the city that I kept falling in love with each time I visited. I asked Laura, a few weeks after the wedding of course, about using her apartment as a home base. She and Aaron graciously agreed. The rest is history – until it isn’t.
As I alluded to in my previous post, the six day trip turned into a one day trip. The same afternoon of the day I arrived, I shelled out the additional money (my original flight could not be changed) to purchase a one-way ticket to return the following morning, the cheapest of all the days I considered while making the decision. Which leaves unanswered the significant question, why?
When I first communicated the thoughts of my decision and the decision itself to others, they asked that question. Through thoughtful consideration and consideration with them, I clarified my previously vague thoughts as well as my understanding of the inclinations that lead me to the decision to return os early. While some still do not understand my decision, I rest confident that I made the correct one.
When I approached the idea of this trip, I had vague notions of my reasoning. I knew two thing. One, I loved the city enough to seriously contemplate a move. Two, I have never visited the city in winter. a season that I would experience should I, in fact, move there. ALthough valid, these facts for an in insubstantial foundation on which to make a decision. At the time, I consoled myself with the thought that I had plenty of time to plan out what I would do before embarking on the trip.
As I have written about before, life last semester forged ahead at breakneck pace, leaving me frantically dog paddling to keep my head above water as I dealt with all the new responsibilities both involuntary and voluntary. When the fog of required activities cleared enough to permit thoughts of the trip back in, I postponed further planning or simply goggled “top coffee shops in Chicago” and planned to get to further work later. In what little time I did devote to thinking about the trip, I decided to focus on writing, a lot of writing at various locations around the city. I exaggerate in no way when I state that the above sentence formed the extent of my planning. For someone like me? That’s not nearly enough.
Laura rightly pointed out that not everything must be planned in advance. Every day does not need an exact to the hour or minute itinerary. I agree. Spontaneity often brings wonderful delights. In this case, however, spontaneity could not come close to solving the underlying problem. I tried to squeeze way too much into my winter break.
An Achilles heel of mine, one I have discussed before, is the compulsion, sometimes unhealthy, to do all the things, go all the places, read all the books, accomplish all the accomplishments. You get the picture. While I still want to give this trip another shot, cramming it into my limited break in a hectic, chaotic school year, was a poor choice.
Even though I would not be going a bunch of places and doing a lot of things – I’ve done most of the touristy things on previous trips – I still placed extra mental burden on myself by the logistical hurdles of being away from home right before diving back into the school year, hurdles like how to get runs in on icy sidewalks, preparing lunches for the first few weeks of school, squeezing in two family Christmas celebrations the two days immediately before school starts, trying to get things done in the meantime, and other hurdles.
As I dive into this new year, and back into the school year, I need to stay mindful as I plan the other two trips and make more decisions regarding obligations to my time. Careful curation yields bountiful results. Overeager planning yields exhaustion.